Saturday, February 21, 2009

When to Pull the Plug on a Loved One

This post may be one of the blogs i would classify as a not-good-feeling post. I have been thinking about this subject for the past few days now that i decided i could write about it.

My mom was hospitalized 2 days ago due to gastritis and pneumonia. She is feeling better now, which is good but I have been too stressed because i stay with her during nights at the hospital and i go straight to work daytime. Not that i want too, i really cherish all the moments when we get to talk heart to heart about several subjects.

A close relative, who is above 70 years old has been confined at a hospital near us for more than 2 months now. She was admitted before Christmas and her condition has not improved. She has a rare cancer affecting her blood and one chemo session cost about 80-90 thousand pesos (exclusive of doctor fees, hospital fee, all other fees). She goes thru dialysis 2-3 times a week and has a lot of other medications. She has only 1 son (married) and has 2 grandchildren. Their family is a bit well-off, owning a nice home and a couple of vehicles. She also got a retirement pay from a government agency she has worked for several years.

Another close relative talked to her son and asked how are their finances. He told them they have already spent more than a million. The relative asked what are their plans for his mother. Not that he is hinting of pulling the plug but his thoughts are the future of their family and the two children. It is so difficult for a son to decide what's best for his mother at this stage and if i put myself to his position, i too would not know what to do.

What would be the best to do at this stage? Will they continue what they are doing? When i have the chance to visit them, it is not hard to notice that the mom has suffered a lot at the hospital. Not that she is not well taken care of but one would notice if a person is going better or just stagnant. She is too old to experience the pain she is feeling right now and our family have never stopped praying for her recovery. She has been good to us all her life and i am wondering why does she have to suffer too long? She has been a good mother and her son would not be in his place right now if it was not for her accomplishments. She was widowed at an early age, never remarried and raised a wonderful family.


Jan said...

That's a horrible situation to be in. Tough call. Especially when there's no tacit agreement between the mother and son on what to do on an eventuality like this. Even if there is it's still tough for a son to go through.

Dee said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about that. That's a really difficult circumstance to be in. My heart goes out to them. Life really isn't easy. But I pray for the recovery of your relative and that God would give her son and his family the strength and the guidance they need at this tough time.

God bless and have a blessed Sunday.

Small Footprints said...

This is such a difficult situation. It would be good if everyone would talk about this subject and let their loved ones know their wishes should this situation arise. Unfortunately, most do not ... and then a son or daughter must struggle, not only with what is best for the loved one, but with what is best for their own family. It's unfortunate that health care often comes down to money but ... it is a reality. It is such an emotional, difficult time!

I wish that I had good advice or answers ... but I don't. I guess we each just do the best we can with the information we have. The rest is out of our hands!

Small Footprints

Dee said...

Hi! I'm dropping by to tell you that I'm passing a tag to you. It's the 'Passionate Blogger Award'. Please get it at my blog. Thank you. Have a wonderful day! :D